I bought a dog off a blacksmith today and as soon as I got home it made a bolt for the door.
It's A Joke
Started by
dapleb
, Mar 04 2022 07:21 pm
444 replies to this topic
#201
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 02 July 2022 - 09:36 am
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#202
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 02 July 2022 - 09:59 am
My wife accidently swallowed one of my suppositories and nearly choked.
Now I'm going to have to insert another one.....
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#203
drewpy
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,764 posts
has been here 4ever
- Location:Manchester UK
- TDM model: 1996
Posted 02 July 2022 - 06:39 pm
A Lorry carrying Multi Purpose Cleaner has overturned on the Motorway.
Locals say its the worst case of Flash Flooding that they've ever seen.
"As I Lay Rubber down to street, I pray for traction I can keep. But if I skid and begin to slide, please dear god protect my ride"
Mods; Oil pressure switch, neoprene rear inner mudguard, scottoiler, highway pegs, fenda extenda, 1999 carbs and airbox, Kais suspension setup, later clutch springs, LED lamps, Metmachex swingarm, Hagon Shock, Oxford heated grips, 4 way fused accessory Bus, 17" 3CV front wheel, Michellin R6 tyres, GPS speedo, 5' ignition advance.
#204
dablik
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 10,866 posts
Master Intermediate Fettlin' Award 2018
- Location:Bootleshire
- TDM model: 1992
Posted 02 July 2022 - 09:34 pm
An Irishman walks out of a bar
STOP LAUGHING
It could happen !
Bigred mk1 R1 Calipers- Braided lines- Givi wing rack-Crash bungs- Hi vis bullets-PR2's- and a hoot to ride.
Quad 900 Silver Laser duo tech pipes-Scott oiler-Engine crash bars- Radiator mounted see me ring LED's-Datatool system 3 alarm -Centre stand- Extender fender-Renthal bars-Handle bar risers-Mirror extenders-BMW GS Handgaurds-Acumen uprated horn & Nautilus-Stainless steel Radiator guard-Givi wing rack-OEM screen-Yammy touring screen-MRA Vario-MRA Double bubble cut down for fast as fk riding-Tiger screen-Tank protector-Stomp grip panels-Optimate lead Gone to Heaven 
1991 MK1 in need of some TLC watch this space Gone to Heaven 
Sorted and on the Road Mick 
it's the bike that Jack built 
#205
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 03 July 2022 - 07:33 am
I recently joined a nudist colony. The first few days were the hardest.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#206
dablik
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 10,866 posts
Master Intermediate Fettlin' Award 2018
- Location:Bootleshire
- TDM model: 1992
Posted 03 July 2022 - 09:01 am
You been on the Sildenafil daps 
Bigred mk1 R1 Calipers- Braided lines- Givi wing rack-Crash bungs- Hi vis bullets-PR2's- and a hoot to ride.
Quad 900 Silver Laser duo tech pipes-Scott oiler-Engine crash bars- Radiator mounted see me ring LED's-Datatool system 3 alarm -Centre stand- Extender fender-Renthal bars-Handle bar risers-Mirror extenders-BMW GS Handgaurds-Acumen uprated horn & Nautilus-Stainless steel Radiator guard-Givi wing rack-OEM screen-Yammy touring screen-MRA Vario-MRA Double bubble cut down for fast as fk riding-Tiger screen-Tank protector-Stomp grip panels-Optimate lead Gone to Heaven
1991 MK1 in need of some TLC watch this space Gone to Heaven Sorted and on the Road Mick it's the bike that Jack built
#207
PICARD
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,771 posts
has been here 4ever
- Location:Wirral / wherever I lay my hat!
- TDM model: 2004
Posted 03 July 2022 - 10:03 am
Been knocking those tent pegs in...
Lock onto my co-ordinates and beam me up !!
04 900 - 92 mk 1 - r 1150 rs - Z550 A1 - 2x bonnies - plastic slug -XL185 - ...not in that order !! (and one or two i don't want / dare to own up to !!)
04 900 - 92 mk 1 - r 1150 rs - Z550 A1 - 2x bonnies - plastic slug -XL185 - ...not in that order !! (and one or two i don't want / dare to own up to !!)
#208
Studley Ramrod
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 19,334 posts
Monkey Boys Monkey
- Location:HELLO ! I'm in the Library...Notts
- TDM model: 1993
Posted 03 July 2022 - 04:55 pm
lol
Mk2a 2000 in Silver. Top end Refurb @ 41100 miles, Scottoiler, Renthal Road High Bars, Up & Back Bar Risers, Bellypan, DL650 Handguards, Capt. Picard Bar Ends, House of Henty SS Wheel spacers, New Seat Cover Fitted. 58 MPG !! Now owned by chrisbee ! Studley's mk2a Bloggerydoodaah ! Photos of my first MK1 Photos of my MK2a TPLQHCSRSFC No. 1 Fan
#209
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 04 July 2022 - 05:12 am
I had to Google that.... Says it lasts 4 hours.... What would I do for the other three hours 59mins.....and 45 seconds!
My girlfriend has rubbish mobile service
Eight days ago she said *we're breaking up" the call ended and it's gone straight to voicemail ever since.
My girlfriend has rubbish mobile service
Eight days ago she said *we're breaking up" the call ended and it's gone straight to voicemail ever since.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#210
Studley Ramrod
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 19,334 posts
Monkey Boys Monkey
- Location:HELLO ! I'm in the Library...Notts
- TDM model: 1993
Posted 04 July 2022 - 11:46 am
I had to Google that.... Says it lasts 4 hours.... What would I do for the other three hours 59mins.....and 45 seconds!
My girlfriend has rubbish mobile service
Eight days ago she said *we're breaking up" the call ended and it's gone straight to voicemail ever since.
lol. Be trying to piss in the loo without doing a headstand
Mk2a 2000 in Silver. Top end Refurb @ 41100 miles, Scottoiler, Renthal Road High Bars, Up & Back Bar Risers, Bellypan, DL650 Handguards, Capt. Picard Bar Ends, House of Henty SS Wheel spacers, New Seat Cover Fitted. 58 MPG !! Now owned by chrisbee ! Studley's mk2a Bloggerydoodaah ! Photos of my first MK1 Photos of my MK2a TPLQHCSRSFC No. 1 Fan
#211
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 05 July 2022 - 06:15 pm
Lolzio.
My wife gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.
So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever.
My wife gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.
So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's sangria than ever.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#212
waynedear
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- Member
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- 106 posts
Carpe Regular
- Location:Liverpool
- TDM model: 1998
Posted 06 July 2022 - 05:53 pm
First time I had sex, didn’t have a clue, my sister said I had to wear a condom, dopey me put it on inside out, I didn’t know if I was coming or going.
#213
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 06 July 2022 - 06:55 pm
My girlfriend poked me in the eyes.....so I stopped seeing her for a while.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#214
Favs
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 4,419 posts
Sir Cumference
- Location:County Durham
- TDM model: 2008
Posted 07 July 2022 - 06:58 am
First time I had sex, didn’t have a clue, my sister said I had to wear a condom, dopey me put it on inside out, I didn’t know if I was coming or going.
A Liverpool family putting the fun in dysfunctional 
Edited by Favs, 07 July 2022 - 06:59 am.
Single-handedly reviving the Wave.
2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS
#215
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 07 July 2022 - 07:02 am
A man broke into my house last night looking for money.
So I got out of bed and started to look with him.
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#216
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 08 July 2022 - 02:53 pm
What do you call it when you mix alcohol with American literature?
Tequila mockingbird
Tequila mockingbird
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#217
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 09 July 2022 - 05:08 pm
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Sir Render
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#218
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 09 July 2022 - 07:44 pm
What happens if someone slaps you at high frequency?
It hertz!
What happens when someone slaps you a million times per second?
It mega hertz
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#219
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 10 July 2022 - 06:20 pm
10 years ago I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.....
All three said "no"!
All three said "no"!
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#220
waynedear
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- Member
-
- 106 posts
Carpe Regular
- Location:Liverpool
- TDM model: 1998
Posted 16 July 2022 - 09:34 pm
A Liverpool family putting the fun in dysfunctional
How very dare you, I’m from Blackpool.
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