Who can drink 5 litres of petrol and not get sick.... Jerry can
It's A Joke
Started by
dapleb
, Mar 04 2022 07:21 pm
444 replies to this topic
#261
dapleb
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Posted 25 August 2022 - 07:21 pm
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#262
dapleb
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Posted 29 August 2022 - 08:35 pm
I am starting a business to teach short people maths.
It's called making the little things count.
It's called making the little things count.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#263
dapleb
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Posted 03 September 2022 - 05:59 am
What does a tapeworm have in common with the Eiffel tower?
They are both Paris sites.
They are both Paris sites.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#264
dapleb
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Posted 04 September 2022 - 01:50 pm
There was a big moron and a little moron sitting on a fence. The big moron fell off, why?
Because the little moron was a little more on.
Because the little moron was a little more on.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#265
dapleb
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Posted 05 September 2022 - 06:01 pm
I just invented a telepathically controlled air freshener.
Makes scents when you think about it.
Makes scents when you think about it.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#266
dapleb
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Monkey Boy
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Posted 08 September 2022 - 07:33 pm
Where do rainbows go when they're bad?
Prism. It's a light sentence.
Prism. It's a light sentence.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#267
dapleb
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Posted 10 September 2022 - 08:22 pm
What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colours anymore?
A reptile dysfunction
A reptile dysfunction
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#268
Snowbird
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Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
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Posted 10 September 2022 - 11:18 pm
I thought that was when ya knob keeps changing color.
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#269
Studley Ramrod
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Posted 14 September 2022 - 07:43 pm
What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colours anymore?
A reptile dysfunction
Mk2a 2000 in Silver. Top end Refurb @ 41100 miles, Scottoiler, Renthal Road High Bars, Up & Back Bar Risers, Bellypan, DL650 Handguards, Capt. Picard Bar Ends, House of Henty SS Wheel spacers, New Seat Cover Fitted. 58 MPG !! Now owned by chrisbee ! Studley's mk2a Bloggerydoodaah ! Photos of my first MK1 Photos of my MK2a TPLQHCSRSFC No. 1 Fan
#270
Snowbird
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Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
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Posted 16 September 2022 - 10:06 pm
Quote of the day.
"Don't believe what you read on the Internet "
Benjamin Franklin
"Don't believe what you read on the Internet "
Benjamin Franklin
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#271
dapleb
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Monkey Boy
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Posted 17 September 2022 - 05:06 am
My wife wants me to blow air on her whenever she overheats......but honestly.....I'm not a fan.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#272
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 19 September 2022 - 08:05 am
I taught my pet wolf to meditate...now he's aware wolf.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#273
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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Monkey Boy
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Posted 20 September 2022 - 09:29 pm
What do call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad?
A faux Pa.
A faux Pa.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#274
ChrisG
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Posted 21 September 2022 - 09:08 am
My wife says I spend too much time on the internet and if she sees me on a computer again today she'll hit me with the keyboard.
I'm not worried though becasusepjerst'pfghbjpre'oatisfdghk'srtjgfbm v gfd' 435rtg
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now 
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#275
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
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- TDM model: 1990
Posted 24 September 2022 - 03:43 am
I've started telling people about the benefits of dried grapes,...... it's all about raisin awareness.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#276
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 25 September 2022 - 05:53 am
My wife rearranged the labels on my spice rack.
I haven't confronted her yet but the thyme is cumin.
I haven't confronted her yet but the thyme is cumin.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#277
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 25 September 2022 - 07:41 pm
69% of people find something dirty in everything they read.
Chatted up a gypsy girl last night, she eventually said cone back to my place and I'll show you a good time.
She weren't kidding, went on the waltzer, the dodgems, helter-skelter and won a goldfish.
Chatted up a gypsy girl last night, she eventually said cone back to my place and I'll show you a good time.
She weren't kidding, went on the waltzer, the dodgems, helter-skelter and won a goldfish.
Edited by Snowbird, 25 September 2022 - 07:43 pm.
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#278
ChrisG
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Posted 26 September 2022 - 06:28 am
My wife accused me of stealing her thesaurus, I was shocked, appalled, dismayed and stunned.
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#279
ChrisG
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Resident vulture
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Posted 26 September 2022 - 10:06 am
Nicked from AlunL...
My old man used to say "The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more"
Lovely bloke, terrible anesthetist.
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#280
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 26 September 2022 - 10:10 am
Nicked from AlunL...
My old man used to say "The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more"
Lovely bloke, terrible anesthetist.
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
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