Today was my son's fourth birthday party.
I did recognise him at first... I've never seen him be four.
It's A Joke
Started by
dapleb
, Mar 04 2022 07:21 pm
444 replies to this topic
#301
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 06 November 2022 - 07:53 am
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#302
harvey krumpet
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full o shoite
- Location:New Zealand
- TDM model: 1997
Posted 08 November 2022 - 05:28 am
I went to the sperm bank the other day to make a donation and the nurse asked me if I would masturbate in the cup
Had to admit to her I wasn't ready to compete yet.
TDM 850 Loud and unusual. CRM 250r Woo hoo! DT 230 Lanza Fiddled with.... Bloody hell, is that legal? GG Randonee AKA "I didn't think that was possible".
#303
harvey krumpet
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full o shoite
- Location:New Zealand
- TDM model: 1997
Posted 08 November 2022 - 06:46 am
I'm trying to get people to eat more dried grapes.
It's all about raisin awareness.
TDM 850 Loud and unusual. CRM 250r Woo hoo! DT 230 Lanza Fiddled with.... Bloody hell, is that legal? GG Randonee AKA "I didn't think that was possible".
#304
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 08 November 2022 - 07:10 am
Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off..... I think I'm being stalked!
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#305
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 10 November 2022 - 06:37 am
I had to fire the guy i hired to mow the lawn.
He just didnt cut it.
He just didnt cut it.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#306
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 10 November 2022 - 04:32 pm
Two African doctors walking along a hospital corridor were in an intense debate.
The first said "It's wooooooooooooooommmmbbbbbBB".
The second said "No, it's wooooooooooommmbbbaaaa."
A British doctor overhears them and decides to help and says "Gentlemen, I think the word you are looking for is 'womb.' "
They politely thanked him and walked on.
One then turned to the other turn and said "I bet you he has never seen a hippopotamus, let alone hear one fart underwater!"
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#307
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 11 November 2022 - 06:34 am
Lolzio.
My friend jqck says he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk
My friend jqck says he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#308
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 12 November 2022 - 08:04 pm
Drunk loads of newcastle brown last night and needed a wee, best I could muster was a why aye.
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#309
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 13 November 2022 - 07:11 am
My boss told me to have a good day..... So i went home
If we are serious about saving the planet we should stop printing calendars.
They are the reason our days are numbered
If we are serious about saving the planet we should stop printing calendars.
They are the reason our days are numbered
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#310
Favs
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 4,419 posts
Sir Cumference
- Location:County Durham
- TDM model: 2008
Posted 15 November 2022 - 02:15 pm
The manager of the luggage factory asked me why I should be given the job.
I struggled to make a case.........
Ishing doon so ahhll get ma coat
Dunno if I made this joke up or heard it 
Single-handedly reviving the Wave.
2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS
#311
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 15 November 2022 - 08:12 pm
I'm never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
They just take the money and run.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#312
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 18 November 2022 - 05:12 pm
I accidentally drank some holy water with my laxative.
I'm about to start a religious movement.
I'm about to start a religious movement.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#313
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 20 November 2022 - 12:01 am
I gave my wife an orgasm last night.
Ungrateful bitch spat it out!
Ungrateful bitch spat it out!
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#314
Catteeclan
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 2,523 posts
full o shoite
- Location:Gorleston Norfolk
- TDM model: 2002
Posted 20 November 2022 - 09:35 am
I gave my wife an orgasm last night.
Ungrateful bitch spat it out!
2002 TDM900 Yellow
#315
bondy
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 852 posts
850 going for 900
- Location:Overton. Hampshire, UK
- TDM model: 1996
Posted 21 November 2022 - 04:03 pm
Just answered a knock at the door and there's bloke standing there about 3 foot 3 inches tall. What do want I say? I'm the meter man he says.
Boom Boom, I'll get me coat.
#316
Favs
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 4,419 posts
Sir Cumference
- Location:County Durham
- TDM model: 2008
Posted 30 November 2022 - 08:48 am
Wales
Single-handedly reviving the Wave.
2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS
#317
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 30 November 2022 - 10:01 pm
People said I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins...but take a look at me now
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#318
harvey krumpet
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 2,064 posts
full o shoite
- Location:New Zealand
- TDM model: 1997
Posted 01 December 2022 - 09:52 pm
My new dentist is a Hindu.
He says he can help me transcend dental medication.
TDM 850 Loud and unusual. CRM 250r Woo hoo! DT 230 Lanza Fiddled with.... Bloody hell, is that legal? GG Randonee AKA "I didn't think that was possible".
#319
harvey krumpet
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 2,064 posts
full o shoite
- Location:New Zealand
- TDM model: 1997
Posted 01 December 2022 - 09:57 pm
10mm.jpeg 20.31KB
0 downloads
TDM 850 Loud and unusual. CRM 250r Woo hoo! DT 230 Lanza Fiddled with.... Bloody hell, is that legal? GG Randonee AKA "I didn't think that was possible".
#320
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 03 December 2022 - 06:38 am
My wife asked me "is it just me or is the cat getting fat"?
Apparently "no its just you" wasn't the right answer!
Apparently "no its just you" wasn't the right answer!
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
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