Found the secret to making a woman go MmmmmmnnmmmMMmmmnnmmmmMMM all night
Duct tape
Edited because I missed out a mmm
Edited by Favs, 03 December 2022 - 02:13 pm.
It's A Joke
Started by
dapleb
, Mar 04 2022 07:21 pm
444 replies to this topic
#321
Favs
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 4,419 posts
Sir Cumference
- Location:County Durham
- TDM model: 2008
Posted 03 December 2022 - 02:12 pm
Single-handedly reviving the Wave.
2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS
#322
dablik
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 10,866 posts
Master Intermediate Fettlin' Award 2018
- Location:Bootleshire
- TDM model: 1992
Posted 03 December 2022 - 04:55 pm
Bigred mk1 R1 Calipers- Braided lines- Givi wing rack-Crash bungs- Hi vis bullets-PR2's- and a hoot to ride.
Quad 900 Silver Laser duo tech pipes-Scott oiler-Engine crash bars- Radiator mounted see me ring LED's-Datatool system 3 alarm -Centre stand- Extender fender-Renthal bars-Handle bar risers-Mirror extenders-BMW GS Handgaurds-Acumen uprated horn & Nautilus-Stainless steel Radiator guard-Givi wing rack-OEM screen-Yammy touring screen-MRA Vario-MRA Double bubble cut down for fast as fk riding-Tiger screen-Tank protector-Stomp grip panels-Optimate lead Gone to Heaven 
1991 MK1 in need of some TLC watch this space Gone to Heaven 
Sorted and on the Road Mick 
it's the bike that Jack built 
#323
harvey krumpet
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 2,064 posts
full o shoite
- Location:New Zealand
- TDM model: 1997
Posted 03 December 2022 - 07:53 pm
My girlfriend had just put on her new dress after a shower, she asked me with a cheeky smile "does my bum look big in this?"
Well, I said, to be fair, it is a small bathroom.
TDM 850 Loud and unusual. CRM 250r Woo hoo! DT 230 Lanza Fiddled with.... Bloody hell, is that legal? GG Randonee AKA "I didn't think that was possible".
#324
Snowbird
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 04 December 2022 - 12:04 am
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#325
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 04 December 2022 - 07:48 am
My wife is leaving me because I'm beginning to go bald.
I don't mind it's hair loss.
I don't mind it's hair loss.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#326
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 06 December 2022 - 08:12 am
I recently ran an ultra marathon in northern Sweden.
I realised I had gone way off course as soon as i crossed the Finnish line.
I realised I had gone way off course as soon as i crossed the Finnish line.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#327
ChrisG
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 8,281 posts
Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 06 December 2022 - 11:59 am
Several people have been injured in a crush in a doorway at a museum in Bilbao.
You shouldn't put all your Basques in one exit!
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now 
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#328
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 07 December 2022 - 05:46 am
Lolzio
What drug should a dinosaur never take?
A steroid
What drug should a dinosaur never take?
A steroid
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#329
AliG
-
- Member
-
- 1,455 posts
has been here 4ever
- Location:Galicia, Spain
- TDM model: 2010
Posted 07 December 2022 - 12:24 pm
Nothing is built in the UK these days. I just bought a tv and it said "Built in antenna"........................................................I don't even know where that is.
2004 900 - Blue with lots of goodies
2012 900 - Still adding shiny bits. Was black, changed to white and now back to black again.
#330
bondy
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 852 posts
850 going for 900
- Location:Overton. Hampshire, UK
- TDM model: 1996
Posted 09 December 2022 - 04:33 pm
A Jack Russell and a Great Dane were sitting in the waiting room at the vets. The Great Dane say's to the Jack Russell, what are you here for. Jack Russel say's I keep biting the posty so they have to put me down, that's shit says the Great Dane. So what you here for says the jack russell, oh says the great dane my owners Mrs was bending down and loading the washing machine and I couldn't myself so jumped on her back and gave her a good rodgering. Fuck me says the jack russell so your getting put down as well, oh no she's getting me claws clipped.
It's cold out, I'll get me coat.
#331
Snowbird
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 11 December 2022 - 01:55 pm
flatearth.png 393.53KB
0 downloads
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#332
Snowbird
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 11 December 2022 - 02:12 pm
xmas.jpg 31.03KB
0 downloads
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#333
ChrisG
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 8,281 posts
Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 12 December 2022 - 04:01 pm
I said to my Mrs "You've wrapped so many presents now you must be able to do it with your eyes closed"
She laughed and said she probably could.
I said "Great, I'll go and get yours"
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#334
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 12 December 2022 - 08:51 pm
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi?
Wasabi?
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#335
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 13 December 2022 - 07:08 pm
Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie?
He only eats Brians.
He only eats Brians.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#336
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 15 December 2022 - 07:19 am
Just read an interesting fact. Bruce Lee had a vegan brother.... Broco Lee
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#337
harvey krumpet
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 2,064 posts
full o shoite
- Location:New Zealand
- TDM model: 1997
Posted 15 December 2022 - 07:42 pm
I received an e-mail from the AA today explaining how to read maps backwards.
Turns out it was spam.
TDM 850 Loud and unusual. CRM 250r Woo hoo! DT 230 Lanza Fiddled with.... Bloody hell, is that legal? GG Randonee AKA "I didn't think that was possible".
#338
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 16 December 2022 - 06:57 am
When my wife is depressed I let her colour in my tattoos.
She just wants a shoulder to crayon.
She just wants a shoulder to crayon.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#339
Favs
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 4,419 posts
Sir Cumference
- Location:County Durham
- TDM model: 2008
Posted 16 December 2022 - 08:43 am
Single-handedly reviving the Wave.
2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS
#340
Snowbird
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 1,432 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 16 December 2022 - 11:52 am
blood.jpg 48.8KB
9 downloads
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users
