Not happy with E10, so I've just started to fuel my TDM on a mixture of onions and nitrous oxide.
When I take it for a spin I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's A Joke
Started by
dapleb
, Mar 04 2022 07:21 pm
444 replies to this topic
#361
drewpy
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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has been here 4ever
- Location:Manchester UK
- TDM model: 1996
Posted 28 January 2023 - 09:39 am
"As I Lay Rubber down to street, I pray for traction I can keep. But if I skid and begin to slide, please dear god protect my ride"
Mods; Oil pressure switch, neoprene rear inner mudguard, scottoiler, highway pegs, fenda extenda, 1999 carbs and airbox, Kais suspension setup, later clutch springs, LED lamps, Metmachex swingarm, Hagon Shock, Oxford heated grips, 4 way fused accessory Bus, 17" 3CV front wheel, Michellin R6 tyres, GPS speedo, 5' ignition advance.
#362
trevini
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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has been here 4ever
- Location:Far East, near Lowestoft!
- TDM model: 2004
Posted 28 January 2023 - 11:48 am
Not happy with E10, so I've just started to fuel my TDM on a mixture of onions and nitrous oxide.
When I take it for a spin I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I tried something similar with mine. It was running fine on laxatives for a while until it shat itself.
2004 Galaxy Blue. Owned since 486 miles.Renthal 755 bars, Bagster tank cover, Oxford heated grips, DL650 hand guards, Double Bubble screen, Scorpion Rad guard, Gel pad insert, HLD undertray, Angry Badger tailtidy, Roadsmart 4s, Givi E21s, E46 topbox, Ohlins shock and YSS cartridge emulators Currently not fitted - PC3, Remus Revolutions.
Putting up with the "niner" jokes since 2005
Check out http://www.hotcoldground.co.uk we're really rather good!
Like food? I feed people - SmokinGrillGuy <p>
#363
drewpy
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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has been here 4ever
- Location:Manchester UK
- TDM model: 1996
Posted 28 January 2023 - 12:18 pm
I tried something similar with mine. It was running fine on laxatives for a while until it shat itself.
that would make it a slick ride
"As I Lay Rubber down to street, I pray for traction I can keep. But if I skid and begin to slide, please dear god protect my ride"
Mods; Oil pressure switch, neoprene rear inner mudguard, scottoiler, highway pegs, fenda extenda, 1999 carbs and airbox, Kais suspension setup, later clutch springs, LED lamps, Metmachex swingarm, Hagon Shock, Oxford heated grips, 4 way fused accessory Bus, 17" 3CV front wheel, Michellin R6 tyres, GPS speedo, 5' ignition advance.
#364
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 28 January 2023 - 12:30 pm
I tried something similar with mine. It was running fine on laxatives for a while until it shat itself.
How did you find your way home, shat-nav?
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#365
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 05 February 2023 - 07:58 am
I saw a microbiologist today, he was much bigger than I expected
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#366
harvey krumpet
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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full o shoite
- Location:New Zealand
- TDM model: 1997
Posted 05 February 2023 - 09:41 pm
What do you call a snake that's 3.14mtr long?
A Pi-thon.
TDM 850 Loud and unusual. CRM 250r Woo hoo! DT 230 Lanza Fiddled with.... Bloody hell, is that legal? GG Randonee AKA "I didn't think that was possible".
#367
harvey krumpet
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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full o shoite
- Location:New Zealand
- TDM model: 1997
Posted 06 February 2023 - 05:40 am
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi do
TDM 850 Loud and unusual. CRM 250r Woo hoo! DT 230 Lanza Fiddled with.... Bloody hell, is that legal? GG Randonee AKA "I didn't think that was possible".
#368
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 06 February 2023 - 07:25 am
I called the doctor "my wife is going into labour what should i do?"
"Is this her first child" he asked.
"No, this is her husband!"
"Is this her first child" he asked.
"No, this is her husband!"
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#369
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 07 February 2023 - 08:13 am
A woman, moody because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me" Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dressing table and pick up the note... After a few minutes he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone... "She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie. I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like." He hung up, grabbed his keys and left. She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed. Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote..."I can see your feet. We're out of bread, back in five minutes."
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#370
AliG
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- Member
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- 1,455 posts
has been here 4ever
- Location:Galicia, Spain
- TDM model: 2010
Posted 07 February 2023 - 11:42 am
A woman, moody because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me" Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dressing table and pick up the note... After a few minutes he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone... "She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie. I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like." He hung up, grabbed his keys and left. She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed. Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote..."I can see your feet. We're out of bread, back in five minutes."
2004 900 - Blue with lots of goodies
2012 900 - Still adding shiny bits. Was black, changed to white and now back to black again.
#371
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 08 February 2023 - 09:23 am
What happens when you eat aluminium foil?
You sheet metal.
You sheet metal.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#372
drewpy
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,764 posts
has been here 4ever
- Location:Manchester UK
- TDM model: 1996
Posted 08 February 2023 - 05:10 pm
JK Rowling, not since Debbie McGhee has one woman squeezed so much money from one small wizard.
"As I Lay Rubber down to street, I pray for traction I can keep. But if I skid and begin to slide, please dear god protect my ride"
Mods; Oil pressure switch, neoprene rear inner mudguard, scottoiler, highway pegs, fenda extenda, 1999 carbs and airbox, Kais suspension setup, later clutch springs, LED lamps, Metmachex swingarm, Hagon Shock, Oxford heated grips, 4 way fused accessory Bus, 17" 3CV front wheel, Michellin R6 tyres, GPS speedo, 5' ignition advance.
#373
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 09 February 2023 - 07:17 am
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A yamahahahahahaHaaaaaaHAAAAAAAAAAA
A yamahahahahahaHaaaaaaHAAAAAAAAAAA
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#374
Favs
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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Sir Cumference
- Location:County Durham
- TDM model: 2008
Posted 10 February 2023 - 08:41 am
I say I say I say did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.
That'll be my coat ...
There's no menu, you just get what you deserve.
That'll be my coat ...
Edited by Favs, 10 February 2023 - 08:46 am.
Single-handedly reviving the Wave.
2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS
#375
ChrisG
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Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 10 February 2023 - 01:30 pm
Viagra has been proved successful in treating burn victims in hospital.
It doesn't treat the burns directly but stops the sheets sticking to thier legs.
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now 
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#376
curlylegend
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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Carpe Addict
- Location:West of France, south of the Loire...the good bit !
- TDM model: 1991
Posted 10 February 2023 - 10:27 pm
Viagra has been proved successful in treating burn victims in hospital.
It doesn't treat the burns directly but stops the sheets sticking to thier legs.
They also administer it to geriatric men to stop them rolling over and falling out of beds.
#377
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 11 February 2023 - 07:26 am
Needed a wee at the pool today so I just did it in the deep end.
The life guard noticed and blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in.
The life guard noticed and blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#378
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 13 February 2023 - 11:06 am
Guess who i bumped into on my way to the opticians?
Everyone
Everyone
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#379
harvey krumpet
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 2,064 posts
full o shoite
- Location:New Zealand
- TDM model: 1997
Posted 13 February 2023 - 09:55 pm
TDM 850 Loud and unusual. CRM 250r Woo hoo! DT 230 Lanza Fiddled with.... Bloody hell, is that legal? GG Randonee AKA "I didn't think that was possible".
#380
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,279 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 18 February 2023 - 07:39 am
How much does a roof cost?
Nothing, it's on the house.
Nothing, it's on the house.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
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