162 replies to this topic

[wicklamulla]

well i'm spreading me legs roight now G and if ya have a webcam easily to hand oil show ya how Shazza Stone shudda done it......

[ChrisG]

well i'm spreading me legs roight now G and if ya have a webcam easily to hand oil show ya how Shazza Stone shudda done it......

but it's all done in the best poaaaaaassable taste...

[XTreme]

Them English blokes started it!

[Pict]

i was trying to press you to see if you have mod. status as well as PR status ??

AFAIK no- I'm just being me as usual.

"PR" is an interesting concept, in the context of an informal forum that has no collective view, aim or standard, nor any aspirations in that regard, only rule by personality.

What the hell - I'm just tired.

[OF.uk]

You'll need to tuck your pants inside your boots if you want to get the sheep's legs in there

[Pict]

You'll need to tuck your pants inside your boots if you want to get the sheep's legs in there

Ah'll get my coat.

[OF.uk]

Ah'll get my coat.

Bugger, my comment wasn't aimed at you, it was in reference to dapleb's last post. Unfortunately several other people posted before I got chance to write and post

[dapleb]

it was in reference to dapleb's last post.

I'll get me coat.

[wicklamulla]

I'll get me coat.

lemme hold the door fer you (not so) kind Sir

[dapleb]

lemme hold the door fer you (not so) kind Sir

If oim goin ...your comin wid me.

[TonyDevil]

Now do you want to tell us why you happen to have a statue of a nervous looking sheep?

lol i just googled suprised sheep and that was the first hit



and to stop the speculation....the mod that quarantined it pending comments from the forum admin was me

[XTreme]

I'm sure all you non-English....particularly Celts...will find this funny! It's absolutely true.....and happens on a regular basis.

As you know, I live in rural Andalucia in Southern Spain. And I've been in Spain for coming up to two years. Anyway, you're probably aware of the mass influx of Brits to Spain....most of them want to be (and need to be) on the Costas....but can't afford it. So they come to places inland where property is cheaper.
We're one of the few who chose to live here. But the fact is, you ain't gonna survive without the language.....and the English have a problem when it comes to learning languages. Unlike the Dutch, who are the language masters of Europe.

So every week more Brits (virtually 100% English) arrive. And they're fucking clueless!
And sometimes they turn up with a UK plate Mitsubishi Pajero. Which translates in Spanish to the Mitsubishi WANKER!
They're totally oblivious to this fact and drive round everywhere with "WANKER" emblazoned on their cars....and wonder why everybody points and laughs.
I've told them that it's an unusual and prestige vehicle here so it's good for them to tell people it's their car because they'll get more respect in the community. I've taught them a couple of useful phrases to break the ice when people stop to look at the car...
"Yo soy un pajero todos las dias"......"I'm a wanker everyday".
"Yo soy el mejor pajero en el pueblo"....."I'm the best wanker in town".
"Estaba un pajero en Reino Unido.....y ahora soy un pajero en Espana"....."I was a wanker in Britain....and now I'm a wanker in Spain."

I love it when a plan comes together!

Edited by XTreme, 25 September 2007 - 03:10 pm.

[TonyDevil]

you total bastard, i like your sense of humour

[wicklamulla]

well they cudda bought a Shogun instead i suppose. STORMY look at what you've done now, we're all laughing

[ChrisG]

A friend of mine's parents live in "Spain", they've been there about 3 years and her father still doesn't speak Spanish, he doesn't need to, they never meet any Spanish people. Everyone in the area they live is English, he's a plumber and bathroom fitter and all his customers are British. That sort of thing must annoy the cr@p out of the Spanish.

[XTreme]

you total bastard, i like your sense of humour

Tony....I could write a book on the stupidity of the English in Spain!

At this moment in time....in this town.....

There's an English pajero who bought a traditional Spanish cave to embrace the lifestyle. Then he covered the whole frontage of his property with astroturf.

Another English woman thought she'd accepted an offer to sell her property to a Spaniard. She hadn't....she'd accepted his offer of marriage.

There's a weirdo who has some bizarre fetish for women in wheelchairs. He'll always have a wheelchair in his car (for socialising) and sometimes drives to the local basketball court....plays basketball, then stand up and walks off carrying the wheelchair. Understandably the locals find this very strange indeed.

The English are permanently squabbling with each other....even to the point of violence. Unfortunately this is the only squabbling option open to them cos they don't have the language skills to squabble with anybody else.

We must have more successful Brit businessman and former SAS operatives in this town than anywhere. They get off the plane and they reinvent themselves as whatever they want to be. Unfortunately they spend most of their time trying to rip each other for pennies, or scavenging at the local rubbish tip.

Oh.....and there's a lunatic English woman locked in a bedroom with a goat. She has also been seen with hoof marks all over her not long after she told people that the goat man wanted her to have sex with one of his goats. This is the same woman who carries dead dogs around in her car. Don't ask....it'll take forever to explain.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg!

[jht]

Tony....I could write a book on the stupidity of the English in Spain full stop!

Edited by jht, 25 September 2007 - 04:37 pm.

[zander]

just remember life a bich an then you die and the bitch isnt alway female

[stu]

i'd loike to carry a big wooden club around with me.....

Move to Kilkenny, so.

[stormy]

you total bastard, i like your sense of humour

Just wait until Pete translates his avatar ..............