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The Beadle jokes arrive

Started by RevvinKevin , Jan 31 2008 10:21 pm

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10 replies to this topic

#1 RevvinKevin

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Posted 31 January 2008 - 10:21 pm

They can't read Beadle's will....................It's in shorthand huh.gif

The cremation will be televised.....................You've been flamed laugh.gif

The ceremony will be followed by a small finger buffet tongue.gif

A 2 minute silence will happen when the big hand meets the little hand wink.gif

An applause will be requested at the funeral...........the vicar will ask for everyone to give him a big hand smile.gif



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#2 catsbum

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Posted 31 January 2008 - 11:22 pm

Funny!

#3 cupasoop

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Posted 01 February 2008 - 07:46 am





#4 ChrisG

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Posted 01 February 2008 - 09:02 am

Always remembering him as the annoying prankster I was impressed reading his obituary they reckon he's raised over £100m for various charities, mainly for kids with lukemia. Good on him.



Anyway, back on topic...

Playing cards with the missus one night and she looks over and says "that's a shit hand you've got there Jeremy"

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#5 TonyDevil

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Posted 01 February 2008 - 09:18 am

he aint dead, its a prank rolleyes.gif
at his own funeral he'll turn up dressed as a copper wearing a false beard tongue.gif

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#6 big dave

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Posted 02 February 2008 - 09:37 am

Beadle……on the one hand, he had a big ••••, on the other hand, he had a small one.

Anyone fancy joining me in business and start making 'Beadle memorial clocks’, each with a big hand and a little hand just like Jezza.

As a mark of respect Jeremy Beadle’s family have requested all messages of condolence to be written in short hand.

What’s Jeremy Beadle and a fake Rolex watch got in common? - One big hand, one small hand and they have both stopped ticking!

What with having liver cancer and then dying of pneumonia at 59, it’s fair to say that Beadle was dealt a bad hand.

Jeremy Beadle was never any good at poker - he always had a rubbish hand.

The sad thing is he would still be alive today if only he could have got the lid off of his tablets.

In a change to our schedule, a tribute to Jeremy Beadle will be screen after News at Ten – ‘Watch out, Beadle’s conked out’

Jeremy Beadle was found next to a single glove. Detectives have yet to establish cause of death but believe the glove may have had a small hand in it

Mrs Beadle was going to go for a big spread at the wake but opted for a small finger buffet.

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#7 Daveb

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Posted 02 February 2008 - 03:23 pm





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#8 JollyGiant

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Posted 02 February 2008 - 03:54 pm

QUOTE(Daveb @ Sat 2nd Feb 2008, 03:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>


That's the best yet good.gif banana.gif banana.gif rotflmmfao.gif rotflmmfao.gif

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#9 RevvinKevin

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Posted 02 February 2008 - 07:14 pm

Rather than be buried or cremated he wanted to be composted and spread on the garden.
A spokesman for ITV has said he will return to our screens in the autumn, in "Watch out. Beadles a sprout" smile.gif
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#10 Guest_celticbiker_*

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Posted 08 February 2008 - 11:11 pm

My two peneth worth

According to his family, Jeremy Beadle caught pneumonia after staying too long in the sea. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't swim back to the shore as he kept going round in circles.

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#11 Zorst

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Posted 10 February 2008 - 06:33 pm

I notice thats its funny to take the piss out of a man with a deformity who apparantly raised money for charity, which i didn't know.

Yet remember when it didn't seem to be funny to take the piss outta Colin McCrae on here and whats he done.

Hmm.... huh.gif
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