Two pals meet for a pint after work and end up having far too much to drink. One of them throws up and gets vomit all over all over his new suit. "Oh my god" he says to his pal "how am I going to explain this to my wife?"
"Don't worry" says his pal, "take a £20 note out of your wallet and hold it in your hand. When your wife asks what happened show her the note and tell her some fellah in the pub threw up over you, but he gave you £20 to get the suit cleaned. She'll feel sorry for you and you'll be OK."
When the first pal gets home his wife looks at the state he's in and says "what happened to you?"
He says "Oh some fellah in the pub threw up over me, but look he gave me £20 to get my suit cleaned"
"OK" says the wife, "but why have you got two £20 pund notes in your hand?
"Oh" he said "the second one is from the bloke that shat in my pants"