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Merry Christmas....with A Few Jokes


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#1 JMC

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Posted 18 December 2019 - 09:34 am

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it.

Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.

The wife's been hinting she want's something black and lacy for her birthday. So I've got her a pair of football boots.

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.

Anyone got an owner’s manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise!

My wife apologised for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me.

My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner and ignored her all day for no reason.

Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. It's called wedding cake.

Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her make up.

My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the surface.

 



"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"
Hunter S. Thompson.

#2 dablik

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Posted 18 December 2019 - 09:41 am

:lol: number 4's a cracker, i'll work that one in..


Bigred mk1 R1 Calipers- Braided lines- Givi wing rack-Crash bungs- Hi vis bullets-PR2's- and a hoot to ride.

Quad 900 Silver Laser duo tech pipes-Scott oiler-Engine crash bars- Radiator mounted see me ring LED's-Datatool system 3 alarm -Centre stand- Extender fender-Renthal bars-Handle bar risers-Mirror extenders-BMW GS Handgaurds-Acumen uprated horn & Nautilus-Stainless steel Radiator guard-Givi wing rack-OEM screen-Yammy touring screen-MRA Vario-MRA Double bubble cut down for fast as fk riding-Tiger screen-Tank protector-Stomp grip panels-Optimate lead   Gone to Heaven  :sorry: 

 

1991 MK1 in need of some TLC watch this space   :) Sorted and on the Road Mick  :P  :P it's the bike that Jack built  ;) Gone to Heaven  :wub: 

 


#3 Robodene

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Posted 18 December 2019 - 10:17 am

..😁..

Edited by Robodene, 18 December 2019 - 10:18 am.

1940s Ariel 350 (ex-military) Khaki > Black & White '56' Kymco Venox 250 Metallic Grey '56' TDM 900/A (ABS) Silver[b] '56' Yamaha MT-03 White <p>[b] '14' Yamaha MT-07 Matt Grey[b] '17' Honda Rebel 500 

#4 drewpy

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Posted 18 December 2019 - 10:20 am

love it!  :rotflmmfao:


"As I Lay Rubber down to street, I pray for traction I can keep. But if I skid and begin to slide, please dear god protect my ride"

Mods; Oil pressure switch, neoprene rear inner mudguard, scottoiler, highway pegs,  fenda extenda, 1999 carbs and airbox, Kais suspension setup, later clutch springs, LED lamps, Metmachex swingarm, Hagon Shock, Oxford heated grips, 4 way fused accessory Bus, 17" 3CV front wheel, Michellin R6 tyres, GPS speedo, 5' ignition advance.


#5 Gdogg

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Posted 18 December 2019 - 03:04 pm

:lol: number 4's a cracker, i'll work that one in..

 Mines the wedding cake  :rotflmmfao:  :badgerrock:


<p> Now Sold 😔......850 MK2A 4TX6 in Silver, Stainless steel hand rolled slip on end can, stainless 2into1 headers, K&N air filter, Hagon progressive front springs, Gdogg modified rear shock, Else Made "Ridgeback" Gel Seat, Gdogg under seat fender extender, Powrspark leads, Carbon fiber effect vinyl wrap fairing decals & logos, Michelin Pilot Road2's, V-Strom hand guards, Givi monorack & box (colour matched side rails).

#6 Favs

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Posted 18 December 2019 - 06:37 pm

 Mines the wedding cake  :rotflmmfao:  :badgerrock:

 

Cheers Gav, mine's a pint :drinks:


Single-handedly reviving the Wave.

 

2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS

 

 

 



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