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Some More Lexophilia For Ye


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#1 Robodene

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Posted 26 September 2020 - 10:00 am

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."

14. I wondered why the cricket ball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: "Keep off the Grass."

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

25. Time flies.  You'll be surprised how fast they are.

26. Innuendo is not an Italian suppository.
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#2 dapleb

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Posted 26 September 2020 - 11:12 am

26 of the finest dadsey jokes, nice juan. :0)
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"

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#3 Bjørge

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Posted 26 September 2020 - 03:43 pm

I got maybe 15 of them 😐
...but those 15 are good 😎
Bjørge

#4 drewpy

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Posted 26 September 2020 - 05:44 pm

some were cringe worthy, which is a good thing


Edited by drewpy, 26 September 2020 - 08:33 pm.

"As I Lay Rubber down to street, I pray for traction I can keep. But if I skid and begin to slide, please dear god protect my ride"

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#5 Robodene

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Posted 26 September 2020 - 06:24 pm

I have re-reading to 'get' them all. Just about there now.
1940s Ariel 350 (ex-military) Khaki > Black & White '56' Kymco Venox 250 Metallic Grey '56' TDM 900/A (ABS) Silver[b] '56' Yamaha MT-03 White <p>[b] '14' Yamaha MT-07 Matt Grey[b] '17' Honda Rebel 500 

#6 Studley Ramrod

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Posted 26 September 2020 - 07:36 pm

:rotflmmfao: Some absolute crackers there Rob.


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#7 PICARD

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Posted 26 September 2020 - 07:37 pm

I love these, and theres a few new to me ones there! Great stuff.
Lock onto my co-ordinates and beam me up !!

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#8 Favs

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Posted 27 September 2020 - 08:20 am

:good:

 

Don't forget about the Geography teacher - arrested for crimes against Humanities


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2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS

 

 

 


#9 Quartermaster

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Posted 27 September 2020 - 02:21 pm

Sounds like a 5 minute section of one of Ken Dodd's marathon locki-in sessions.


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#10 TKH

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Posted 27 September 2020 - 07:22 pm

Oh dear but 10/10 for the effort!



#11 PICARD

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Posted 30 September 2020 - 06:35 pm

If two vegetarians have a confrontation, is it still called a beef, or is it a quornfrontation?....discuss.
Lock onto my co-ordinates and beam me up !!

04 900 - 92 mk 1 - r 1150 rs - Z550 A1 - 2x bonnies - plastic slug -XL185 - ...not in that order !! (and one or two i don't want / dare to own up to !!)


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