Bears And Religion
#1
Posted 30 October 2021 - 03:27 pm
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University.
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give
him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone voice he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.
So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
In retrospective thought ,the rabbi looks up twirling his fingers through his beard, and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
#2
Posted 30 October 2021 - 05:40 pm
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Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#3
Posted 31 October 2021 - 05:42 am
Edited by Gdogg, 31 October 2021 - 05:43 am.
#4
Posted 31 October 2021 - 12:23 pm
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#5
Posted 06 November 2021 - 06:57 pm
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