all fantastic, but this one just about sums up the whole state of the country and the diretion we going in....
who DARED mention common sense!!!!
Stand up and apologise now to the nation
Edited by jht, 29 November 2007 - 12:35 pm.
Cyclists
Started by
Guest_Emmett_*
, Nov 26 2007 07:46 pm
59 replies to this topic
#41
jht
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- Member
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has been here 4ever
- Location:surrey/hants border
- TDM model: 1996
Posted 29 November 2007 - 12:34 pm
Hahahahahaha
all fantastic, but this one just about sums up the whole state of the country and the diretion we going in....
who DARED mention common sense!!!!
Stand up and apologise now to the nation
all fantastic, but this one just about sums up the whole state of the country and the diretion we going in....
who DARED mention common sense!!!!
Stand up and apologise now to the nation
Done: Homo sap navigation/ twisty thing on bars to make it go vroom/ grabby thing to make it stop (in front of twisty thing)/ 'leccy things front and rear to make it glow at night/ Sucky + drippy oiler thing to keep chains moist (!!) / Laser Pro Stock Race pipes / bleeding ear drums (see previous mod)
To do: Educate homo sap nav system to operate twisty + grabby things/ get ear plugs
All Trashed Now... Pants... its a Cat B Mwahahaha it lives again!!
Remember every driver is a deaf myoptic twat who is out to kill you, ALWAYS assume they are going to do THE most f*cking DUMBASS, STUPID manouver possible, at the worst possible moment; get past, and get past quick
To do: Educate homo sap nav system to operate twisty + grabby things/ get ear plugs
Remember every driver is a deaf myoptic twat who is out to kill you, ALWAYS assume they are going to do THE most f*cking DUMBASS, STUPID manouver possible, at the worst possible moment; get past, and get past quick
#42
Guest_Negwedar_*
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Posted 29 November 2007 - 01:23 pm
oooooh where to start with this one?........
When I'm driving the truck/lorry/HGV/LGV whatever you want to call it, I'm a "death dealing juggernaut", hurtling around polluting the atmosphere and menacing other road users, or holding up traffic preventing anyone from getting where they want to be on time, soaking pedestrians with spray and road dirt, and spilling gallons of diesel for motorcycles to skid on, so I can crush them beneath my mighty wheels, illegally smoking fags (cigarettes, Thomas) and drinking coffee on the move, chatting to my mates on the bluetooth (CB is so old hat), and leering down at the young ladies.....
so I get in the car to go home, and I'm instantly transformed into a dozy old fart in a Rover fer god's sake, pootling along at 30 MPH nodding in time to some inane middle of the road drivel on Radio 2, or some weird old hippy music on the CD, still smoking the fags (see above, Thomas), taking up the whole road and leering UP at the young ladies.....
and she says lets go for a walk, and shazam, I'm a damned pedestrian, wandering along in a world of my own, left my specs at home, crossing the road wherever I bloody well like, changing direction without signalling or even so much as a by your leave, leering myopically at what I hope are young ladies, wheezing on the hills because of the fags (I expect you've got the idea by now, Thomas
).....
so when I take the bike out, thank god (whoever or whatever you conceive him to be) I'm a motorcycling hero, perfectly behaved in every way, always in the right place at the right speed at the right time, making the proper signals in plenty of time, courteous and considerate to other road users, fags and leering either prevented or concealed by the helmet, in fact a very paragon of motoring virtue..........
When I'm driving the truck/lorry/HGV/LGV whatever you want to call it, I'm a "death dealing juggernaut", hurtling around polluting the atmosphere and menacing other road users, or holding up traffic preventing anyone from getting where they want to be on time, soaking pedestrians with spray and road dirt, and spilling gallons of diesel for motorcycles to skid on, so I can crush them beneath my mighty wheels, illegally smoking fags (cigarettes, Thomas) and drinking coffee on the move, chatting to my mates on the bluetooth (CB is so old hat), and leering down at the young ladies.....
so I get in the car to go home, and I'm instantly transformed into a dozy old fart in a Rover fer god's sake, pootling along at 30 MPH nodding in time to some inane middle of the road drivel on Radio 2, or some weird old hippy music on the CD, still smoking the fags (see above, Thomas), taking up the whole road and leering UP at the young ladies.....
and she says lets go for a walk, and shazam, I'm a damned pedestrian, wandering along in a world of my own, left my specs at home, crossing the road wherever I bloody well like, changing direction without signalling or even so much as a by your leave, leering myopically at what I hope are young ladies, wheezing on the hills because of the fags (I expect you've got the idea by now, Thomas
).....so when I take the bike out, thank god (whoever or whatever you conceive him to be) I'm a motorcycling hero, perfectly behaved in every way, always in the right place at the right speed at the right time, making the proper signals in plenty of time, courteous and considerate to other road users, fags and leering either prevented or concealed by the helmet, in fact a very paragon of motoring virtue..........
#43
TonyDevil
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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seagull squadron leader & founding member of GoatTracKrew
- Location:Saarfend-on-Sea, Essex
- TDM model: 1991
Posted 29 November 2007 - 01:33 pm
lol 
"Never argue with an idiot. They just bring you down to their level and beat you with experience"
My TDM :
Black 1991 850 MK1, 160k+ miles(ish, best guess really, gave up trying to keep count after 3rd set of clocks and 3rd engine), PilotRoad2 tyres, custom stubby exhaust system, bluespot calipers & goodridge braided hoses with dunlopads, maxton forks, Ohlins shock, kedo handguards, stainless TDM grill, Scottoiler with lubetube & dual nozzle thingy, Givi Wingrack2 with E45 & 2xE36s, renntec crash bars, Autocom with blueteeth & PMR radio, TomTom Rider2, Optimate IIIsp, Bagster tank cover, anti-dazzle coating
to fit : led spotlights, heated grips, new braided lines and rear caliper that actually has bleed nipples
Silver-ish 2003 900, 70k miles, PilotRoad3 front tyre (new@65k) & PR2 rear(new at 69k), Renthal 755 bars with KTM handguards, oxford unheated grips, power commander 3usb, scorpion titanium exhausts, standard screen with vario winglet thingy, stainless grill, oem centre stand, bagster tank cover, givi monokey topplate mounted on grabrail with V46 topbox, Givi PL pannier rails with E21s, crash bungs, mirror extender thingys, Halfords Advanced Laser Blue brillance bulbs, 21w led spotlights, touring scottoiler with leehenty dual nozzle, Autocom with blueteeth & PMR radio, TomTom Rider3 Urban, winter style anti-dazzle coating
to fit : led brake light strip, replacement heated grips
current rides : TDM850 3vd/mk1=tourer&scratcher, TRX850=weekend twisty toy, 2003 TDM900=commuter, 2005 TDM900=unmolested. Gone but not forgotton : XTZ750=overland touring toy, GS500e, GS125
If a strange looking truck driver honks at you & gives you the thumbs up, its could be me 
#44
Guest_erdferkel_*
Guest_erdferkel_*
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Posted 29 November 2007 - 02:14 pm
hi there,
Negwedar, great response...
i thought about composing a little witty reply yesterday, since i also ride girlfriend, pushbike, motorbike, car, lorry, boat, jog in the forrest and whatever....
...but then again i took advantage of the sunshine and rode the xt for a few miles...decidedly more fun than flaming away in the interweb
glückauf
ralf
pig of all transport means
Negwedar, great response...
i thought about composing a little witty reply yesterday, since i also ride girlfriend, pushbike, motorbike, car, lorry, boat, jog in the forrest and whatever....
...but then again i took advantage of the sunshine and rode the xt for a few miles...decidedly more fun than flaming away in the interweb
glückauf
ralf
pig of all transport means
#45
Mitch
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- Member
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- 534 posts
Knight of Postsalot
- Location:Lavenham, Suffolk.
- TDM model: 2002
Posted 29 November 2007 - 06:28 pm
QUOTE(Yellowasp @ Mon 26th Nov 2007, 10:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I agree. Ban them then hang them
They are a damn nuicance and take up far too much space. When driving the artic the worse thing on the road to meet is a cycle. They are too slow, take up to much room, unpredictable and I have to slow right down and stay behind them until I can pass by them without knocking them off !! And they NEVER pull over or stop . I followed this twat for nearly 3 miles before I could get past even though we passed two layby's the cunt never pulled over
They are a damn nuicance and take up far too much space. When driving the artic the worse thing on the road to meet is a cycle. They are too slow, take up to much room, unpredictable and I have to slow right down and stay behind them until I can pass by them without knocking them off !! And they NEVER pull over or stop . I followed this twat for nearly 3 miles before I could get past even though we passed two layby's the cunt never pulled over
Fuck me Jim, got to you didn't they.
Honda SS50
Honda CG125
Honda 250 Super Drean
Honda 751F1
Honda CX500
Kawasaki Z750E
TDM 900
PRP exhaust, Scottoiler touring, Yamaha Heated grips, Givi top box & panniers, Garmin, MRA Vario screen, fenda extenda, BMW hand guards. Nippy Normans bar risers. 'Nitram Special' parking light. Starcom. Hagon progressive fork springs. Hagon Monoshock with Remote Adjuster. SW-Motech mirror extenders.GIVI Engine Protectors.
BMW K1200LT (2000)
Nothing to add, has it all. 
Kawasaki Z750E (1981)
In bits. 
#46
Guest_E.T._*
Guest_E.T._*
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- Guests
Posted 29 November 2007 - 08:48 pm
interesting thread. I bought a bike last year of the peddle variety to keep a bit fitter. I've had more near misses with dorky car drivers wishing past at 60 mph with one inch to spare. Give me a real bike any day!
BUT on proper paths (Holland) they are brilliant a bicycle would be a great additional mode of transport for me.
I loved the cycle path piccys by Chris G - says it all really! Our local cycle path to colchester is a dirt track through woods, full of horse turds and gravel. bloody dangerous, and no one would commute on that. ruin your bike, ruin your shoes, and no way could you take a road bike on there (in fact I've good mind to get a £1000 road bike, and sue the council everyday for new wheels)
BUT on proper paths (Holland) they are brilliant a bicycle would be a great additional mode of transport for me.
I loved the cycle path piccys by Chris G - says it all really! Our local cycle path to colchester is a dirt track through woods, full of horse turds and gravel. bloody dangerous, and no one would commute on that. ruin your bike, ruin your shoes, and no way could you take a road bike on there (in fact I've good mind to get a £1000 road bike, and sue the council everyday for new wheels)
#47
Chris TDM
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- Member
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- 328 posts
Carpe Addict
- Location:In my mannor
- TDM model: 1999
Posted 29 November 2007 - 10:54 pm
QUOTE(LUNLUNZAI @ Tue 27th Nov 2007, 04:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A cyclist at Oxford jumped a red, ended up never see a red again.
He got run over by a bin truck and killed himself.
I have seen a lot of cyclists jumping on and off pavement and road like riding on thier own private land but never seen enough police holding the law.
He got run over by a bin truck and killed himself.
I have seen a lot of cyclists jumping on and off pavement and road like riding on thier own private land but never seen enough police holding the law.
not those dumb arses i've seen so many people have near miss in oxford because of jumping red's. most of them should be entered for the Darwin awards. they finish oxford uni, have some hight degree in being clever but are to dumb to stop at a red light, also so i've been told it's illegal to drive after them trying to knock them off, nothing like taking my rights away!
#48
Yellowasp
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- Member
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- 449 posts
Carpe junky
- Location:Nuneaton
- TDM model: 2003
Posted 30 November 2007 - 11:36 pm
QUOTE(avonne @ Thu 29th Nov 2007, 06:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Fuck me Jim, got to you didn't they.
Yeah, and another thing:
GET SOME FECKIN LIGHTS YOU TIGHT ARSEHOLES
Yellow Tdm 900 with lots of bits added
#49
TonyDevil
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 9,336 posts
seagull squadron leader & founding member of GoatTracKrew
- Location:Saarfend-on-Sea, Essex
- TDM model: 1991
Posted 30 November 2007 - 11:49 pm
QUOTE(Yellowasp @ Fri 30th Nov 2007, 11:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, and another thing:
GET SOME FECKIN LIGHTS YOU TIGHT ARSEHOLES
GET SOME FECKIN LIGHTS YOU TIGHT ARSEHOLES
arsehole maybe, but i aint tight
i'll be buying some new loights when i pickup the bike
"Never argue with an idiot. They just bring you down to their level and beat you with experience"
My TDM :
Black 1991 850 MK1, 160k+ miles(ish, best guess really, gave up trying to keep count after 3rd set of clocks and 3rd engine), PilotRoad2 tyres, custom stubby exhaust system, bluespot calipers & goodridge braided hoses with dunlopads, maxton forks, Ohlins shock, kedo handguards, stainless TDM grill, Scottoiler with lubetube & dual nozzle thingy, Givi Wingrack2 with E45 & 2xE36s, renntec crash bars, Autocom with blueteeth & PMR radio, TomTom Rider2, Optimate IIIsp, Bagster tank cover, anti-dazzle coating
to fit : led spotlights, heated grips, new braided lines and rear caliper that actually has bleed nipples
Silver-ish 2003 900, 70k miles, PilotRoad3 front tyre (new@65k) & PR2 rear(new at 69k), Renthal 755 bars with KTM handguards, oxford unheated grips, power commander 3usb, scorpion titanium exhausts, standard screen with vario winglet thingy, stainless grill, oem centre stand, bagster tank cover, givi monokey topplate mounted on grabrail with V46 topbox, Givi PL pannier rails with E21s, crash bungs, mirror extender thingys, Halfords Advanced Laser Blue brillance bulbs, 21w led spotlights, touring scottoiler with leehenty dual nozzle, Autocom with blueteeth & PMR radio, TomTom Rider3 Urban, winter style anti-dazzle coating
to fit : led brake light strip, replacement heated grips
current rides : TDM850 3vd/mk1=tourer&scratcher, TRX850=weekend twisty toy, 2003 TDM900=commuter, 2005 TDM900=unmolested. Gone but not forgotton : XTZ750=overland touring toy, GS500e, GS125
If a strange looking truck driver honks at you & gives you the thumbs up, its could be me
#50
catsbum
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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Sponsored by AutoGlym
- Location:California Berks
- TDM model: 2007
Posted 01 December 2007 - 12:04 am
Once saw a bike jump lights at Hyde Park. Bike went under, he was grabbing wiper blades from the 120 to Kingston
Arsewipes.
Least we know we are in much more trouble when we try stunts
Arsewipes.
Least we know we are in much more trouble when we try stunts
#51
wicklamulla
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 12,211 posts
is it Jizzy Rascal time yet.....?
- Location:Parish of Cruwys (pronounced 'Cruise' just loike Tom) Morchard, Mid Devon.
- TDM model: 1999
Posted 01 December 2007 - 10:44 am
QUOTE(Yellowasp @ Fri 30th Nov 2007, 11:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, and another thing:
GET SOME FECKIN LIGHTS YOU TIGHT ARSEHOLES
GET SOME FECKIN LIGHTS YOU TIGHT ARSEHOLES
i loike it toight too.......... cue Thomas to enter the building ???
spyball alarm/immob, bluespot brake calipers and Stainless hoses, Fournales air adjustable shock with Remote Resevoir, forks raised 10mm thru yokes, racetech linear fork springs in 15 wt oil, Kappa wingrack/luggage, heated grips, Kedo handguards, dual heat controller to power heated jacket liner and or pants!!, Stebel 136DB horn, K&N air filter, colour matched Baglux tank cover (magnetic tank bag modified to fit cover), osram +50% headloight bulbs, headlight protector,"NitramSpecial" parking loight, tail light indicators all running on LED's & incorporate "Lite Buddies", MK7 Scottoiler fitted, taller screen, 2-2 stainless steel CCC's, Devil stainless down pipes. MKI Renntec engine crash bars & sump guard.
engine changed july 2007 on a dyno run it made 79.1BHP / Torque 59.9Had a brief flirtation with a 1999 MKIIa but it blew an exaust valve on the M5 so was sold on to be repaired.
I loike tay and hang sangwiches !
www.kenhogantreeservices.co.uk
http://s33.photobuck...77/wickla/?sc=6
http://reg.imageshack.us/v_images.php
#52
Readmarx
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- Member
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- 461 posts
Carpe junky
- Location:cider country
- TDM model: 1992
Posted 03 December 2007 - 07:44 pm
Meanwhile, over on the car drivers forum...
"yeh, and then the bloody biker undertook me and raced off exceeding the speed limit whilst mooning at me! Still don't know why the rider was wearing chaps, but I did notice it was a 900cc bike..."
cyclists, bikers, car drivers... there's a twat amongst us all.
"yeh, and then the bloody biker undertook me and raced off exceeding the speed limit whilst mooning at me! Still don't know why the rider was wearing chaps, but I did notice it was a 900cc bike..."
cyclists, bikers, car drivers... there's a twat amongst us all.
mother nature rides a biker
#53
Guest_Matt_G_*
Guest_Matt_G_*
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Posted 12 February 2008 - 08:31 pm
Yep, idiots in/on all types of transport!! I don't have a problem with ANYBODY who gives consideration to others. I don't care how fast they go or where they go as long as they are alert and have some common sense.
Edited by Matt_G, 12 February 2008 - 08:32 pm.
#54
JollyGiant
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- Member
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- 3,406 posts
Crap Citizen
- Location:Jolly Giants World.
- TDM model: no more
Posted 12 February 2008 - 09:41 pm
I used to use me old racer to go down to local when I was younger and quite often find the handle bars were not connected to the front wheel on the way home 
I can remember being told to slow down by Mr P.C Plod cos I doing 34 in a 30 down hill!!!
Now it's sat in roof of garage collecting dust!!!
I can remember being told to slow down by Mr P.C Plod cos I doing 34 in a 30 down hill!!!
Now it's sat in roof of garage collecting dust!!!
My Super Modded TDM has gone to a new home 
I'm now a carbon whore!
#55
Guest_erdferkel_*
Guest_erdferkel_*
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Posted 14 February 2008 - 08:32 pm
QUOTE(Matt_G @ Tue 12th Feb 2008, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yep, idiots in/on all types of transport!! I don't have a problem with ANYBODY who gives consideration to others. I don't care how fast they go or where they go as long as they are alert and have some common sense.
jepp, a little consideration, alertness and common sense are fundamental to get along relaxed.
riding/driving bikes, cars, pedal bikes, lorries and wheelbarrows makes me able to put myself into the shoes of the other people on the road and thus i try to anticipate mistakes by others and often others anticipate the mistakes i make.
so i try to have a non agressive approach to traffic an drive defensively. makes the driving experience much more pleasurable than trying to imitate a trackday
on public roadsglückauf
ralf
pig of all vehicles
#56
Galilee
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- Member
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- 892 posts
850 going for 900
- Location:Norway
- TDM model: 1996
Posted 15 February 2008 - 02:31 pm
Anyone driving slower than me are idiots.
Anyone driving faster than me are insane.
When asked, 90% of drivers claim their driving skills are 'above average'.
That always makes me smile.
Anyone driving faster than me are insane.
When asked, 90% of drivers claim their driving skills are 'above average'.
That always makes me smile.
Too Freud to rock'n'roll, too Jung to die.
#57
Guest_E.T._*
Guest_E.T._*
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Posted 15 February 2008 - 08:50 pm
83% of statistics are made up.
#58
tdm850rider
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- Member
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- 6,103 posts
Carpe Citizen
- Location:Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania USA
- TDM model: 1992
Posted 15 February 2008 - 09:07 pm
QUOTE(Galilee @ Fri 15th Feb 2008, 09:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When asked, 90% of drivers claim their driving skills are 'above average'.
-
QUOTE(E.T. @ Fri 15th Feb 2008, 03:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
83% of statistics are made up.
So only 7% of drivers are really 'above average'?
That may still be pushing it (present company excepted).
Always tell the truth, it will gratify some of the people and astonish the rest. (Mark Twain)
£
Stebel Nautilus air-horn, Corbin seat, MRA Touring screen, single Delkevic silencer.
"I see by your outfit that you are a spaceman"(MkI (3VD) TDM Review)
Hints for using Carpe-TDM. (photo's, links, etc).
#59
ChrisG
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 16 February 2008 - 05:43 pm
QUOTE(erdferkel @ Thu 14th Feb 2008, 08:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
riding/driving bikes, cars, pedal bikes, lorries and wheelbarrows makes me able to put myself into the shoes of the other people on the road and thus i try to anticipate mistakes by others and often others anticipate the mistakes i make.
Yeah, there's nothing worse than an agressive wheel barrow driver
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#60
danceswithmopeds
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- Member
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full o shoite
- Location:Dublin,Ireland
- TDM model: 1999
Posted 16 February 2008 - 05:47 pm
and they never have lights
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