Torry Girls
#1
Posted 11 February 2009 - 08:21 am
No.1
A Torry girl goes to the Benefits Office to register for child
benefit
"How many children?" asks the assessor.
"Ten" replies the Torry girl,
"Ten?" says the Benefits Office worker.
"What are their names?"
"Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan
and Nathan"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Torry girl, "Its great because if they are
out playing in the street I just have shout 'NATHAN, YER DINNER'S
READY!'
or 'NATHAN GO TO BED NOW!' and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the
perturbed Benefits Office worker.
"That's easy," says the Torry girl... "I just use their
surnames"
No.2
A Torry girl enters an adult shop and asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher."
No.3
Q. Two Torry girls jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.
No.4
Q. What does a Torry girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.
No.5
Q. What do you call a 30 year old Torry girl?
A. Granny.
No.6
Q. Why did the Torry girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.
No.7
Q. What do you call a Torry girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
No.8
Q. What's the first
question during a Torry girl quiz night?
A. What you looking at?
No.9
Q. Two Torry kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.
No.10
Q. What's the difference between a boy and a Torry girl?
A. A Torry girl has a higher sperm count.
No.11
Q. What's the most confusing day in Torry?
A. Fathers day
No.12
Q. How do people know Jesus wasn't born in Torry?
A. You try finding 3 wise men and a virgin there!
- Some brilliant bastard
#2
Posted 11 February 2009 - 08:38 am
Edited by Pict, 11 February 2009 - 09:56 am.
"It's a TDM, Jim, but not as we know it"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAHmEWim3to
Diamond black TDM 900A TRIKE, 2006 ABS model converted by Trike Design (Caerphilly, South Wales) prior to first registration in March 2007.
#3
Posted 11 February 2009 - 09:39 am
#4
Posted 11 February 2009 - 09:53 am
Edited by Pict, 11 February 2009 - 09:54 am.
"It's a TDM, Jim, but not as we know it"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAHmEWim3to
Diamond black TDM 900A TRIKE, 2006 ABS model converted by Trike Design (Caerphilly, South Wales) prior to first registration in March 2007.
#5
Posted 11 February 2009 - 11:28 am
Is that some kind of contraceptive rythm method used in Torry?
- Some brilliant bastard
#6
Posted 11 February 2009 - 11:49 am
Ye micht be gaun doon Victoria Road there...
"It's a TDM, Jim, but not as we know it"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAHmEWim3to
Diamond black TDM 900A TRIKE, 2006 ABS model converted by Trike Design (Caerphilly, South Wales) prior to first registration in March 2007.
#7
Posted 11 February 2009 - 12:09 pm
#8
Posted 11 February 2009 - 12:27 pm
Edited by Pict, 11 February 2009 - 12:29 pm.
"It's a TDM, Jim, but not as we know it"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAHmEWim3to
Diamond black TDM 900A TRIKE, 2006 ABS model converted by Trike Design (Caerphilly, South Wales) prior to first registration in March 2007.
#9
Posted 11 February 2009 - 12:57 pm
Aye tis fulla Poles and Turks etc. Rat cellar's worse min.
- Some brilliant bastard
#10
Posted 11 February 2009 - 04:42 pm
Snorvey
And that's official
#11
Posted 11 February 2009 - 05:16 pm
try the craws nest polski yip yap
#12
Posted 11 February 2009 - 05:56 pm
Snorvey
Haudawa min - ur ye feel or fit? Divee nae ken foo the Loard himsel' spiks?
Edited by Pict, 11 February 2009 - 05:59 pm.
"It's a TDM, Jim, but not as we know it"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAHmEWim3to
Diamond black TDM 900A TRIKE, 2006 ABS model converted by Trike Design (Caerphilly, South Wales) prior to first registration in March 2007.
#13
Posted 11 February 2009 - 05:57 pm
Must admit that I don't understand a word of whats going on. The jokes seem familiar though, but they used to be all
Essex based.
1 What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to attract men? Her feet!
2. How do you know when an Essex girl is having an orgasm? She spills her chips!
3 If an Essex girl asks you to leave the light on while you make love, just open the car door.
And so on and so on ad infinitum.
#14
Posted 11 February 2009 - 06:01 pm
Now now, we'll have none of your Southern perversions if you please
"It's a TDM, Jim, but not as we know it"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAHmEWim3to
Diamond black TDM 900A TRIKE, 2006 ABS model converted by Trike Design (Caerphilly, South Wales) prior to first registration in March 2007.
#15
Posted 11 February 2009 - 06:09 pm
Ah kent a Pole frae the Broch eence. Bit Turks - zat some fowk frae a bittie furrer east - ayont Fittie?? They'll no be gettin' the P&J oot thonder, pair sowls.
Edited by Pict, 11 February 2009 - 08:28 pm.
"It's a TDM, Jim, but not as we know it"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAHmEWim3to
Diamond black TDM 900A TRIKE, 2006 ABS model converted by Trike Design (Caerphilly, South Wales) prior to first registration in March 2007.
#16
Posted 11 February 2009 - 06:31 pm
I'm just fine. No, Im not mental - or at least I dont think I am. You've got me on the last bit tho.
Snorvey
And that's official
#17
Posted 11 February 2009 - 07:34 pm
Snorvey
press and journal,ken
#18
Posted 11 February 2009 - 11:23 pm
Always tell the truth, it will gratify some of the people and astonish the rest. (Mark Twain)
£
Stebel Nautilus air-horn, Corbin seat, MRA Touring screen, single Delkevic silencer.
"I see by your outfit that you are a spaceman"(MkI (3VD) TDM Review)
Hints for using Carpe-TDM. (photo's, links, etc).
#19
Posted 11 February 2009 - 11:52 pm
Euro-mongrel? Save up and come on over for some lessons Tammas!
Lesson 1:
1) Wh becomes f : hence interrogatives are fa = who; foo= how; fan /fin = when; far=where; fit = what (fit wey = why; fit like? = how are you?)
2) Vowels shift e.g. oo becomes ee: boots = beets, fool = feel; school = skweel
tbc
Edited by Pict, 12 February 2009 - 12:08 am.
"It's a TDM, Jim, but not as we know it"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAHmEWim3to
Diamond black TDM 900A TRIKE, 2006 ABS model converted by Trike Design (Caerphilly, South Wales) prior to first registration in March 2007.
#20
Posted 12 February 2009 - 07:09 am
Lesson 1:
1) Wh becomes f : hence interrogatives are fa = who; foo= how; fan /fin = when; far=where; fit = what (fit wey = why; fit like? = how are you?)
2) Vowels shift e.g. oo becomes ee: boots = beets, fool = feel; school = skweel
tbc
here endeth the days furst lesson
chin chin
- Some brilliant bastard
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