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Kulula Airlines


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#1 apw99

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 08:04 am

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery! And have a read about their Customer Relations.

WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.





Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg.Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.



Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:





On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,

"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"


----o0o---



"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."



---o0o---



"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."



---o0o---
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline". He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said,

"Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"

The little old lady said,

"Did we land, or were we shot down?"
---o0o---


As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:

"Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"



---o0o---



"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."



---o0o---



"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."



---o0o---



And from the pilot during his welcome message:

"Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"



---o0o—



Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"



---o0o—



Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."



---o0o—


After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."



---o0o—



Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement:

"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."



---o0o—



Heard on a Kulula flight:

"Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."



---o0o---

Have you ever lent someone 20 quid and never seen it again? It was probably worth it.

Long Loved TDM is no longer with me...


#2 bondy

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 03:33 pm

Now that is funny, LMAO.

#3 TKH

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 06:14 pm

rotflmmfao.gif


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