17 replies to this topic

[TonyDevil]

shamelessly stolen from the TRX site

Effective toilet cleaning ...
1. Lift the toilet lid and pour in a half cup of ordinary household detergent.
2. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently whilst slowly moving towards the toilet.
3. At a suitable moment, when the cat is purring contentedly, throw it in the pan and slam the lid shut. Sit or stand on the lid.
4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and produce generous quantities of foam. Do not be concerned about the noise ... the cat IS enjoying itself.
5. Wait a few minutes then initiate the 'power wash' cycle by flushing the toilet.
6. When the cistern has re-filled, flush again to initiate 'final rinse'.
7. Ask somebody to open the front door. Ensure no-one is between the front door and the toilet.
8. Quickly lift the toilet lid.
9. The velocity of the cat between the toilet and the door will cause the cat to dry itself naturally.
10. The toilet and the cat are now both clean.
Best wishes and "happy cleaning"
xxx
The Dog.

[Sparra]

woof woof

[danceswithmopeds]

Ok, so I was wrong after all, there is some use for cats after all.

[SteveGlover]

Ok, so I was wrong after all, there is some use for cats after all.

I've got a book somewhere called "101 things to do with a dead cat".

[TonyDevil]

I've got a book somewhere called "101 things to do with a dead cat".

ooooh post up number 9 please

[ChrisG]

ooooh post up number 9 please

A mate of mine manged to stack his Firestorm and trash his jacket, trousers and helmet in the process of making a dead cat the other night

[TonyDevil]

A mate of mine manged to stack his Firestorm and trash his jacket, trousers and helmet in the process of making a dead cat the other night

ouch hope he's ok.
is that the same guy who's commute was 10miles more than his tank range?

[ChrisG]

ouch hope he's ok.
is that the same guy who's commute was 10miles more than his tank range?

Yeah, For comedy value the vehicle coming the other way at the time was ambulance that stopped and scooped him up

No major damage except to his clothes, couple of friction burns and a swollen thumb. Not too much damage to the bike either as it used his leg as a cushion. The fact that he wore a hole in his Akito cordura jacket from hitting the tarmac at 40mph makes me wonder how good my IXS jacket would be in a high speed off though.

[TonyDevil]

yeh i know what you mean
i prefer the thinner summer gloves because of the better feel thru the bars but i'm not convinced they'd provide enough protection in an off
kevlar(in the draggin stylee) is the way forward me thinks, atleast you know thats been tested by the guy who made the clothing

[Geordie Guy]

Now That made me laugh !!!

well done.

Cant wait to pass it on.

Cheers, Ivan

Ps... the joke not the Hi-jack

Edited by Geordie Guy, 13 August 2007 - 11:17 pm.

[Big Bird]

To be truely effective though, you'd need to use one of those irritating little shaggy-mop dogs. Something like a Maltese Terrier.
That'd really give the bowl a good scrubbing.

[Nanook]

To be truely effective though, you'd need to use one of those irritating little shaggy-mop dogs. Something like a Maltese Terrier.
That'd really give the bowl a good scrubbing.

Aren't those little yappy dogs bloody horrible! Why are they on the planet is what puzzles me!

[danceswithmopeds]

I don't know why, but I once saw a Chihuahua kill a Rottweiler,
















It caught in Rott's throat and choked him

[Hartside Man]

It caught in Rott's throat and choked him

here's a true one i saw with my own eye's

picture the scene Alsation cross, toyfully tossing a yorkshire terrier back and forth in its mouth, then throws it over its head.

yorkie lands on back behind alsation, jumps up onto it's feet dashes after alsation, jumps between rear legs and sinks it's teeth into teste's

alsation belts off wimpering with little yorkie still firmly attached for about 200 yards or so.

yorkie lets go and calmly struts home.

Made me laugh that did.













P.S. yorkie killed itself 3 weeks later by fighting with a broadsheet newspaper that came through its letterbox (delivered by mistake) seemingly the dog had a habit of trashing papers and ended up breaking its neck by trying to toss the paper backwards over its head

[dandywarhol]

Yep - always took you as being a tabloid man Mark..................

[ChrisG]

My grandmother had a huge long haired Alsation, and an ancient and nearly toothless Pekenese. The Peke was boss, it used to bit the Alsatians tongue.

Shortly after the Peke died she was out walking the Alsation and it ran off and came back with a Pekenese in it's mouth...followed by a very flustered looking Peke owner who'd just seen a huge Alsation run up, grab her Peke and run off with it. Didn't hurt the Peke at all, think he just wanted another one

[Hartside Man]

Yep - always took you as being a tabloid man Mark..................

Brings back memories of a sketch i once watched (wish i could find a link) was all about snobbery and types of papers people read ......... i think it might have been done by the not the nine oclock news gang.

anyway suffice to say the sun reader (page 3 tits all the time) ended up being the wealthiest of the group. it was a funny sketch

[DeeDee]

My grandmother had a huge long haired xxxxx, ancient and nearly toothless.

Not like you Dandy to miss an opportunity like this!!



DD